Behold! Oh ye married people, this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip inside the mind of your single and midsingle friends! While they know you mean well whenever you ask about their dating lives or try to help them find true love (thank you for your efforts, by the way), here are some things that they may think on their more snarky, bitter, sick-of-dating days. When you ask these questions, here is what they say...and what they quite possibly really think.

So yes, everything written here should be taken with a grain of salt and a big side of laughter.

1. "Why are you still single?"

What we usually say: "I guess I just haven't found the right person yet."
What we are really thinking: "That mystery goes right up there with some of Steven Hawking's theories: unfathomable. You probably mean that as a compliment, but what it sounds like is that I'm doing something wrong and need to figure out what that is so I can get married, because obviously I'm not doing my best to improve myself, love my life and be open to finding that person whenever it happens. Thanks, Dr. Phil!"

I know that most people who ask this question have great intentions and want us to remember just how great they think we are. But seriously, don't ask this question. Ever. There is no good way to answer it and singles hate trying to do so. 

2. "Maybe you're just picky."

What we usually say: "Well, I try not to be..."
What we are really thinking: "So you're saying that the solution to my single-ness is to settle and that I shouldn't wait for someone who takes my breath away, makes me smile just when they say 'hello' and that someone that I just can't stop thinking about? Oh goodie."

Ok, we all know that being too picky is a bad thing. We get that. But do us a favor: don't tell us to wait for amazing on one hand and then tell us not to be picky on the other. We're already trying to walk the fine line between being realistically optimistic and regretfully settling. 

Growing up in Oklahoma, America’s Midwest, I saw firsthand the results of Mother Nature’s terrible might when tornadoes touched down. Entire neighborhoods were leveled, swathes of landscape flattened and lives were upended. Even as a child, while I lived in fear of these awesome and powerful monstrosities, I could appreciate the way their power was formed…by air.

Because, when you think about it, what are tornadoes but collections of air that rushes forth?

Over the past few months I have listened to dear friends tell me of the tornadoes in their lives. These tornadoes have leveled their confidence, flattened their joys and upended their hearts. But these tornadoes have not been like those I saw in Oklahoma; no, the tornadoes they spoke of were the words and actions of those around them who used the air that rushed forth from their mouths to hurt, to judge, to criticize, to gossip and to belittle.